This week I will be headed to the funeral home to pay my respects to a family mourning the loss of a loved one. I am at an age where I find myself frequenting funeral homes and memorial services more often than I would like. With every visit my mind travels to thoughts of, “what was the last photo taken.” As a photographer, passionate about my craft, this is a natural thought process. However, isn’t this also a natural thought process for anyone grieving the loss of a loved one? Isn’t searching for photographs one of the first things you do when someone you love passes?

Not trying to sound too morbid, but I have thought about my own death and wondered what photo will be placed next to my casket. I can’t answer that question. Looking back through my own family photos, I have photos of my children. Not as many as I would like, but they are there. However, the one person missing from those photos is me! I was always the one behind the camera. Unfortunately, I did not value professional photography when my children were growing up. We all talk about what we would do differently if we could have a “do over” and that would be at the top of my list. My children are all grown and I can certainly remedy this now… but those early days are gone. Pivotal moments in their lives, that at the time I thought I would never forget, are gone. The memories are faded and I can no longer remember those sweet, young faces in my mind. Thinking back, I know money was tight and I’m sure I always thought professional photos were something that I could not afford… but then when I think about some of the purchases made, like that Rainbow vacuum that I always hated or that set of Encyclopedias my children never touched, and I think of how that money could have been spent on a gorgeous family portrait, it breaks my heart. If I could only have a “do over”.